Global Warming and Hot Women

A new study "suggest" this global warming thing is due to hot women. The recent data has shown that the ozone layer isn't to blame for global warming trends, and scientists are looking in a new direction - at hot women. Let me explain, back in the day...

"The human race as a whole is a lot more attractive than it used to be," states Dr. Goodstuff, a climatologist at the Hollywood Center for New and Weird Weather Patterns.

Oddly enough, the two-piece swimsuit—which usually consisted of a structured halter top and modest bottom that covered the navel, hips, and derri arrived with much less fanfare than the bikini. By the early '40s, film stars including Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth, and Lana Turner were all wearing the two-piece, and it was seen frequently on American beaches. Hollywood's Hays production codes allowed two-piece gowns but prohibited navels on-screen. 

     

Doris Day

"With new advances in technology, women especially are able to use clothing, makeup, and surgical techniques to change their appearance and become more visually pleasing. This causes a physiological reaction in men that raises their temperature, and more of that heat is radiated into the air, thus raising the ambient temperature."

First Ladies and the Connection to Global Warming

Historical data shows that average global temperatures remained stable until the 1960s. During every decade since then, average highs have risen several degrees. Women's studies show that it was around that time that hot women became more liberated in their grooming habits due to sociological struggles and the availability of synthetic materials. 

Women who were previously thought of as homely gained the ability to dramatically change their appearance and transform themselves into irresistible sex symbols. As men experienced their own sort of sexual revolution and it became more acceptable to openly view women as sex symbols, a noticeable shift in weather patterns started to take place.

In already warm parts of the US, the rise in day-time temperature means more outdoor activities in the sun for young women. As the summers have gotten warmer, shorts have gotten shorter and bikini's have become smaller. This translates into more time in the sun tanning, playing beach volleyball, and skinny dipping, which in turn has led to further gawking and further warming. "It's a vicious cycle," says Dr. Goodstuff. 

The ozone hole that destroyed mankind

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